Letter to Rachael "asking for forgiveness"

 May I say. I've thought a lot about what happened on my visit to the Ramstad house in Ballard. I was totally and completely crushed by your daughters, "My mind has so completely blocked the names of your children that it refuses to remember their names. it is so sad it can't continue" wiggling out of my arms .. "when the very nite before she happily showed me her princess outfit" I was completely stunned and taken back by what happened ... i was stopped. And remained so for many years festering in  my soul festering in my gut, rotten!   So here I'm today asking for forgiveness because, maybe I was thinking only about me, ... as usual.  Maybe, everyone was as shocked, as I was, when (she)wriggled out of my arms. and i totally over reacted to and misinterpreted it ... and maybe I just completely over reacted to it and found guilty parties who were just as stunned as I was. And so I lost my children and grand-children. I am completely broken. Well, as, Usual, my deadbeat, unemployed, pot-head friend has just arrived and so, I must go. I ask for your forgivevness of my sins even if they are un-forgivable feelings and stupidity seem to go hand-in-hand, and of course, he is talking on the phone so he doesn't have to watch me cry.